Pick Me Up
by spicehnoodles
Summary: Hilda is lazy. Tatsumi has his period. Yup, that's totally normal.


"Pick me up."

"Tch, pick your damn self up."

"How dare you speak so impertinently to me? I command you to pick me up at once."

Tatsumi kept his eyes glued on his compact TV and smashed the buttons of his controller. He could just merely pause the game and kindly pick her up since she was his girlfriend—which, to this day, still shocks him—but he was so engrossed in his game that he didn't feel the need to do so. She had arms, and she had some scary strength. She was a big girl; she can pick up herself.

"What, those boobs making it hard for you to sit up?" he taunted, grinning hugely at his joke and how he totally knocked-out his opponent with a spinning kick.

Hilda glared darkly at him. She nonchalantly bent her right knee, and the controller in Tatsumi's hands skyrocketed in the air, breaking through the roof of his room.

Wide-eyed, the sixteen-year-old shouted out, "Motherfu—Did you just fuckin'—DAMN IT, WOMAN, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

She rolled her eyes from her position. She was lying down on two pillows on the ground. Her exposed thighs rested on Tatsumi's lap. All things junk food were scattered around her area, which were, in fact, all empty. Her hands were on her flat stomach—it was strange on how flat it looked despite all the sugar, fat, oil, and cholesterol she had just digested.

"Shush, you insolent fool. You'll wake Master." Her green eyes slid over to Beelzebub, who was sleeping peacefully on the bed.

Tatsumi groaned out loud. He picked up Hilda's thighs and stomped over to the cabinet. He took out some spare controllers he had bought not too long ago. Every day at least one controller would break, so he made sure to buy a couple of them every month or so.

He resumed his original position, but instead he sat in front of Hilda's thighs.

_My legs are getting cold from the ground_, Hilda thought inwardly. She narrowed her eyes at the idiot focused intently on the game before him.

She lifted her left leg up and swiftly put it in front of Tatsumi's stomach. As soon as she did, with him unnoticed by her creamy leg, she added enough force to push him back against the bed. She heard him grunt and swore incredibly loud. She placed her thighs back on his lap once again.

Tatsumi glowered daggers at her. "Hey! Don't you think doing _that _will wake Beel up? And why're you putting your damn thighs on me again? Didn't you want to fuckin' get up? After all that, you should've picked yourself up in the first place!" He turned away from her. "Damn this woman … "

Hilda scoffed. "This wouldn't have happened if you weren't being so inconsiderate and actually picked me up," she argued. "You're just being all livid as if you have your menstruation cycle."

"Shut up, bitch," he sneered. Then he grinned and laughed victoriously. "Aw, yeah, now that's the shit! KO once again!"

The controller flew up through the roof.

Tatsumi really wanted to tear his hair out and obliterate his surroundings immediately. He regarded his girlfriend with wide, enraged eyes. Her cold, casual look made him feel even angrier.

_Doing all of this shit just 'cause I didn't fuckin' pick her up. Fuck, she's so goddamn _lazy, he thought bitterly.

Reluctantly, he seized her arms and pulled her up roughly. All of a sudden, her face was just a few inches across from his. The distance between was nothing if she was closer.

"Ya happy?" he snapped.

Hilda's expression didn't waver. "No." She leaned in and captured his lips. It wasn't a gentle kiss, and it wasn't a rough kiss, either.

Apparently the male teenager didn't seem to share the same intent. He responded back eagerly and roughly. His hands went on her tiny, tiny waist. He pulled her in closer until her breasts were squashed against his chest. His tongue entered her warm mouth and played around with hers. He felt her wrap her slender arms around his neck, and suddenly, they were falling down.

He grunted when he fell on top of her. He let go of her waist and elevated himself until he wasn't suffocating her. Although they fell down, it didn't interrupt their little session.

Hilda was getting slightly irked with his kissing. She made the kiss even deeper as she pulled him closer. Their lips were practically smashed together, but they both liked it that way.

His left hand started stroking her thigh tantalizingly. His fingers danced lightly on her milky skin, traveling closer and closer underneath her black dress. He felt her other leg wrap around him, her short dress riding up until she was almost exposing her undergarments.

He was about to reach the jackpot until—

"Hilda!" Misaki's voice yelled from downstairs. "Hilda, would you be a doll and help me make dinner? Tatsumi, stop being a horny bastard and let Hilda come down! Stingy jackass!"

Tatsumi growled on her lips. He kept on kissing Hilda.

Hilda, however, pushed him away and began sitting up. He let out a grunt and started kissing her again, pushing her down. She sighed lowly and sat up again. She placed her gloved hand on his mouth when he attempted to kiss her.

"You don't have to help that she-man, Hilda," Tatsumi said under her hand. He grabbed it, held it in place, and leaned in.

She pried her hand out of his grip and stood up. She fixed up her hair, because rebellious strands were coming out of her braid. After that, she smoothed out her skirt. With her boot, she moved the trash to the side and headed out.

"Be that way, then," he muttered to himself. But he took this opportunity to finally have his own time to himself. He retrieved another controller and played the game.

Without warning, Baby Beel's deafening cries shocked Tatsumi to the core. He dropped the controller and went to the bed. He grabbed a hold of Beel and cradled him, bouncing up and down.

_Damn it_, he thought.

Two hard objects fell on his head. A searing amount of pain spread throughout his cranium like quick burning fire.

"FUCK MY LIFE!" Tatsumi roared.

"Tatsumi! I have some tampons if you want some!"

He began bouncing excessively and swinging Beel hard and fast.

* * *

><p><strong>So, this is my first Beelzebub fanfic.<strong>

**Send me some feedback so I can know if I need to work on their characterizations or if you just want to say my little one-shot is the awesomest piece of crap you have ever read in your entire lives.**

**Or if you want some red velvet cake. **


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